As a caregiver trying to take care of a parent suffering from Alzheimer’s, some of the most frustrating things you might run into are behavioral changes. Although many people know that this illness can affect memory and cognitive health, Alzheimer’s can also have a major impact on the way your loved one reacts to certain situations.
Alzheimer’s attacks the brain cells, which can cause them to deteriorate. According to the Alzheimer’s Association, there are several other influences that can progress the breakdown of these cells, including certain medications, other illnesses and environmental factors.
When this happens for the first time, these actions can be very disheartening to family members. The father who has always been kind and pleasant toward you all of the sudden becomes angry, irritable, agitated, anxious or depressed. Or in some severe cases, shows aggression, raises his voice or experiences delusions.
When these situations occur, the first thing you need to realize is that you are not going to win an argument with your father. Because the illness has broken down his practical thought process, there is little hope of having a rational or reflective discussion, especially in the later stages of Alzheimer’s. Becoming irritable or upset on your own will only make matters worse.
The best thing you can do is find an inner calm and redirect these behaviors so that they don’t escalate. Keep in mind that it’s OK to feel a bit sad or frustrated when this happens, but know that you shouldn’t take any insults or aggressive behavior personally. As a caregiver, it is your responsibility to change the environment so that you can properly regulate the behavior to a reasonable state.
It’s important to be intuitive to triggers that result in aggressive behavior. Anger and frustration can manifest itself in a variety of ways, including a need for privacy, just plain boredom, physical pain, tiredness or the struggle to find independence. The actions your father takes likely come from some kind of emotion that he is unable to verbally express, so you will have to seek out the patterns that result in these outbursts. If it helps, you can even keep a log of his behavior so that you can successfully narrow it down.
The next time your loved one begins to show inappropriate behavior, try to diffuse the situation. For instance, your mother might accuse you of taking personal items she misplaced, such as her keys or checkbook. Tell her that you will both look for them later and then change the topic to a pleasurable activity to handle the issue. When this happens, it’s important not to argue your point – simply change the conversation and suggest doing something that she always loved. If she enjoyed cooking, suggest that you make dinner together. If she always had a passion for the great outdoors, help her lace up her shoes and go for a walk or hike through the park.
Alzheimer’s is a disease that can be very isolating, so it’s likely that your dad might cling to you and grow irritable or angry if you leave him, even for a short period of time. If your father becomes very upset when you announce that you are leaving for a period of time, experts recommend setting a timer, telling him that you will be back before it sounds off and allow him to enjoy a task that keeps him occupied.
One of the more dangerous behaviors that people living with Alzheimer’s face, especially in the later stages of the disease, is the tendency to wander off. While the risk lessens if your dad lives in an assisted living community, there are things you need to look out for. Wandering may also be a sign that your dad needs exercise, so be sure to spend some time taking walks together, enjoying an afternoon bike ride or going for a swim at the local gym or community center. If he recently moved in with your family or to an assisted living community it may take him awhile to get used to his new living arrangements and he might try to find his way back home.
If the outbursts become so severe that he begins to experience hallucinations or extreme delusions, it’s important that see a health care professional. This can result in wandering into dangerous situations or possibly harming himself or others.
Many caregivers feel guilty if they take time for themselves. Be aware that it’s difficult to take care of someone else if you’re not feeling patient or healthy yourself. Part of your job is to give yourself permission to take a breather and de-stress so that you can calmly deal with issues when they arise. Although these situations can be frustrating, you can evaluate them in a healthy way.
Contact one of our professionals at the Aegis Living community near you to receive more information on how we can help.
Respite Stays & Day Stays give family caregivers a real break—hours, days, or a few weeks—while your loved one enjoys a safe, enriching short‑term home at Aegis Living. Guests settle into a beautifully furnished private apartment and have 24/7 care staff and onsite nurses, medication management, and discreet safety technology (motion sensors, medical‑alert pendants, visitor check‑in) for peace of mind. Each day feels purposeful with chef‑prepared, all‑day dining and 200+ monthly activities—from book clubs and fitness classes to movie nights—plus full use of the community. We coordinate with your loved one’s physicians to mirror their routines and care, so the stay feels familiar. It’s also a smart trial run for senior living: meet neighbors, test services, and see what supported independence looks like—without a long‑term commitment. Choose a Respite Stay when you’re traveling or need time to recharge, when your loved one would benefit from structure, social connection, and great meals, or when you both want peace of mind while keeping options open.
Hospice & End‑of‑Life Care at Aegis Living is comfort‑first support for the final stage of life, delivered in your loved one’s private apartment by our 24/7 care team in coordination with a trusted local hospice provider you choose (or we can recommend). Together, we create a coordinated care plan that manages pain and other symptoms, oversees medications, and provides calm, dignified help with daily needs, while offering compassionate emotional support for both resident and family. Discreet safety measures and a reliable medical‑alert system bring help quickly; chef‑prepared, in‑apartment meals adapt to changing appetites. Families are guided through decisions and moments of closure so they can focus on being present in a peaceful, home‑like setting. If your loved one already lives at Aegis, they can remain in the comfort of their home, avoiding disruptive moves. Choose this level of care when curative treatment is no longer the goal and you want expert symptom control, hands‑on daily support, and a setting that protects dignity and prioritizes comfort, meaning, and time together.
Memory Care is specialized, secure support for people living with Alzheimer’s or other dementias who benefit from a calm, structured environment and round‑the‑clock expertise. At Aegis Living, that care happens in Life’s Neighborhood—an intimate, thoughtfully designed setting where 24/7 dementia‑trained caregivers and a nursing team on site seven days a week deliver personalized help with daily living, medication management, and mobility (including Hoyer lifts and two‑person transfers), while gently redirecting agitation and confusion. Days are purpose‑filled with science‑based cognitive programming, certified music therapy, and social activities; chef‑prepared meals are easy to enjoy and dining spaces and cues are designed for memory support. Discreet safety features like secured entrances, emergency pendants with fall detection, and optional motion sensors, prevent wandering and bring peace of mind, and visiting physicians and wellness professionals reduce trips off‑site. Families receive education and ongoing support. If your loved one is unsafe alone, missing medications, wandering, needs frequent cueing or hands‑on help with bathing or dressing, or thrives with a predictable routine, Memory Care offers the right level of care. For milder needs, our transitional Assisted Living can be a first step; for advancing symptoms, secured Memory Care provides the specialized, heartfelt support to help them feel calm, connected, and at home.