How do I Convince Mom it’s Time to Consider Assisted Living?

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Is your elderly parent struggling to live on their own?   The house is in disrepair, and their prized garden is overgrown.  Their diet consists of crackers and cheese because they no longer cook.  You aren’t certain if their bills are getting paid on time, or possibly, even paid at all.  They are isolated because they no longer drive.   When you were growing up, your mom knew all your neighbors, but no one is familiar now. Your dad has difficulty hearing, or his sight is poor which affects his safety.   Or perhaps, they have experienced a bad fall or aren’t stable on their feet.

Does any of this sound familiar?

These are clear signs that your parent needs assistance.  Moving them to an assisted living community may be a good option for them.  But how do you convince them that a move would be helpful or necessary?

The first step is to sit them down for “the talk.”  It’s not always easy, but it may be necessary for their health and safety.   They may need some convincing, so we have come up with a list of counterarguments and helpful points to use during your discussion.

  1. Not an “old folks home.” Many seniors are unaware how much the assisted living industry has changed.  Many people picture the cold institutions of yesteryear, but the reality is assisted living communities are very comfortable and homey.   They are filled with activities, excellent amenities, delicious meals, engaging care staff, and are welcoming for family and friends.
  2. New friends. An assisted living community is a great opportunity for seniors to meet their neighbors and make new friends.  Seniors often become isolated when they age because they can no longer drive or they are widowed.  Assisted living communities are very social, and they will meet a whole community of new people.
  3. Luxury amenities. The variety of amenities offered in different communities will vary.  You will want to understand what is most important to them and find a place with amenities that match their personality.  From movie theaters to demonstration kitchens; from swimming pools to pool tables; or from tea rooms to teacup poodles, every community has a unique set of amenities and locations that can perfectly fit your parent. Communities will have chefs, transportation to appointments, laundry, and housekeeping services to alleviate the burden of a house.
  4. Schedule of activities. At Aegis Living, we have Life Enrichment directors who plan a full calendar of rotating daily events to delight and entertain our residents.  Assisted living communities will include local outings, crafts, multi-generational activities, cooking classes, exercise classes, and much more.  When touring a community, ask to see their activity calendar and share with them what type of interests that your parent has. This is a great opportunity for your mom to learn a new hobby or pick up one she hasn’t tried in a long time.
  5. 24/7 Care staff. Round-the-clock care will provide for their safety and meet their personal needs. The specially-trained staff will understand the unique needs of the elderly and how to care for them with dignity and patience.
  6. Peace of mind for the family. So often family members spend so much time and energy stressing about the needs and frailty of their parent that moving into an assisted living community can give the family peace of mind.  When you move your parent into an assisted living community, you will be provided with healthier menu options, their health will be monitored, and you can rest easier knowing they are being cared for.

There is no doubt that moving to an assisted living community and leaving a long time home can be daunting.  Starting slowly, if you are planning ahead of an emergency situation, can help ease those fears.  View communities online with each other.  Request to receive a few brochures that you can look through together.  Set up a time to visit a few communities that seem like a fit for your parent.  Easing your mom into the transition will make the move better for everyone involved.  However, if you know the change needs to happen, completing each of these steps should be scheduled in quick succession so the transition isn’t put on hold until something occurs that requires a fast decision.

At Aegis Living our staff has built relationships with thousands of families.  Although each situation is unique, there are enough similarities that their expertise can help to ease the transition.  Contact one of our local communities and speak with a director who can answer any initial questions you may have.

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